Children need stability and a safe place to land. They don’t need a constant change in the people taking care of them. They need a strong foundation and the only way to create that is to be there for your kids. To provide them with the love and care and security they need. You are the main person who teaches them their value. So what are you teaching them when they go to daycare, then to grandma’s and then to granny’s and then grandma shows up real quick while you need to take care of something, or you’ll drop them off at grandma’s work when they are sick and you have an appointment? What do you teach them if you prioritize everything higher than them?
They learn that work comes first, that the parents “me-time” comes first, that social events come first and that they come whenever it is convenient for you.
What do you teach your children if 16 plus people are allowed to touch them in their private areas to get them changed? How do you teach them that it is not okay for strangers to touch you there while you hand them over to strangers who touch them there? Why isn’t this contradiction obvious to people? Why do so few people actually think about that? I personally wouldn’t want strangers, honestly, even most of my friends to see me naked, even less while I’m on the toilet, or have them wipe my butt, so why do so many parents feel it is okay for their children to have numerous people to just that? I’d be very, very uncomfortable and I’m pretty sure so is a little child, only they can’t tell you that yet. They don’t understand it. And no, this is not something that should be normalized. Strangers should touch your children in their private areas. Period. It is not okay. It should never be okay. The message children are given by that is not a good one. And this has nothing to do with being a prude or any such thing, it has to do with safety. Children’s safety and making them understand what is okay and not okay, the difference between good touches and bad touches.
Just like they should learn that it is okay to not want physical contact with just anyone, even if people are family, bodily autonomy and personal space are things that need to be respected, especially with little kids.
Don’t force children to do something you wouldn’t want done to yourself or do yourself. And put yourself in their shoes and consider how you would feel if you were them.
Does your child know their value? Are you showing them that they are the most important thing in your life? There is no one more important in a child’s life than their parents, never forget that. You shape their understanding of the world and themselves. You are the ones who teach your child their value.
Leave a Reply