So, this is my first entry. I guess I use it to explain how this blog came to be.
Given the current situation, given everything that has been going on for the last almost two years it is getting more and more difficult to meet and talk to people. Being able to share my thoughts with people has become a rarity and lately I have noticed what not being able to share does is doing to me. How it is not healthy for me to just keep them in my head. So, I thought maybe sharing my thoughts and feelings here might help. Maybe it will give me the chance to share them with people who feel similarly, maybe it will help someone to know that they are not alone. That there are people, or at least there is one person out there, who feels the same way. Who understands. And that is important. Conversation, discussions, sharing of thoughts without being afraid is so very important. And lately just talking to my family has become a challenge, always having to navigate the landmines that are certain subjects everyone disagrees with me about. I have never before in my life not been able to be open and honest with my family. It has always been a safe space, somewhere where every opinion mattered, where we could exchange different point of views and different takes on what is going on. Now, it no longer feels that way. I feel like they look at me like I’m insane. Sometimes I even feel like they look at me as dangerous, simply because we have a different opinion on a matter. I’m being treated like a stranger, a crazy one at that by my family. I no longer share my actual thoughts with them. I no longer try to make them understand my side of the story, my point of view. I have tried to do that for almost two years. There were moments I have felt like they finally understand and respect my decisions, just to have that feeling, that hope almost, crushed a short time later. So, since there are only a handful of people in my real life who understand, who share those same opinions, same thoughts I’m hoping I might be able to help some people who know exactly what I’m talking about right now. People who feel the same way I do. People who have been ostracized by their families and people they love, by people they never thought would ever turn on them. Would estrange them because of a different opinion.
If you love me let me go
A couple of months ago I got a new CD. There was this one song that nearly made me cry the first time I listened to it. And I just had this very intense feeling while listening to it, I could relate on so many levels. Even though, most of the things in the lyrics […]
Sometimes I feel too much
Sometimes I worry that I’ve grown cold, that I’m no longer capable of feeling sorrow at horrible events that are happening all the time all around the world. I feel like I’ve been desensitized, or I don’t know… I think a lot of people would assume I don’t care when they hear some of the […]
Maybe it’s just me but the longer the more I notice just how insane the hypocrisy in society is. I know so many people talking about how horrible the working conditions for people in the factories in China, or Bangladesh, or all of those other places are. How little money they get paid, how the […]
There is something about family that is just so fascinating to me. You don’t get to choose the family you are born into, at least not knowingly. You spent your entire childhood with your family, the good, the bad, the ugly. They are always there in one way or another. You get along or you […]
We focus on the wrong things
I don’t know why I’m still surprised by people and what they put their focus on, what they consider important or valuable. Several people in my family considers nothing I have accomplished in the past 10 years as valuable or as something proper. I’ve worked the front desk of a hotel for more than 10 […]
It is what it is
Life is strange… sometimes I’m in this weird emotional and headspace and it’s very difficult for me to do any of the things I know I should do because they would help me get out of that kind of limbo I’m in and help me feel better. It is also especially difficult for me to […]
Society needs to relearn humility
One of the biggest problems we currently have in society is that everyone takes everything so personally. Every little thing is looked at as a personal slight and people tend to forget, that the world does not revolve around them and other people have stuff they are going through too. Here’s an example: A person […]
Not sure what the point of this is
This might be an unpopular opinion, but I don’t get pride month, or black history month or any other month or day like that, except Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. I get those two, at least symbolically and I always loved to surprise my mom with breakfast or a handmade present for her as a […]