I hate days like this one.

When you just can’t get yourself up to do anything besides the essentials. No matter what you do or try. I have to keep on telling myself that it’s okay to have those days, to just not do much of anything… I still feel bad and like I wasted an entire day in the end, but I at least try to give myself permission to not do much of anything.

But the days I hate the most are the ones when every fiber of my being screams at me to sit down and write, and I just can’t. No matter how often I sit down in front of the open document and try to write, I just can’t.

Those are the worst days for me.

Because I know writing would make me feel better and help me get my energy back but something just blocks me from being able to do the one thing that would help me feel better and that usually makes me feel even worse than I already do.

It is so very difficult for me to break that cycle once I’m in it. But I just keep on trying until I manage to break it and then comes a point when I have to start the whole process all over again. It’s an issue I’ve had for years, there has even been a period when I hadn’t been able to write for years, that had been the worst. 

I believe it’s okay to have days like these, I really do. I even think they are necessary but I’m still hard on me when I have one of those myself.