Here goes nothing

So, this is my first entry. I guess I use it to explain how this blog came to be.

Given the current situation, given everything that has been going on for the last almost two years it is getting more and more difficult to meet and talk to people. Being able to share my thoughts with people has become a rarity and lately I have noticed what not being able to share does is doing to me. How it is not healthy for me to just keep them in my head. So, I thought maybe sharing my thoughts and feelings here might help. Maybe it will give me the chance to share them with people who feel similarly, maybe it will help someone to know that they are not alone. That there are people, or at least there is one person out there, who feels the same way. Who understands. And that is important. Conversation, discussions, sharing of thoughts without being afraid is so very important. And lately just talking to my family has become a challenge, always having to navigate the landmines that are certain subjects everyone disagrees with me about. I have never before in my life not been able to be open and honest with my family. It has always been a safe space, somewhere where every opinion mattered, where we could exchange different point of views and different takes on what is going on. Now, it no longer feels that way. I feel like they look at me like I’m insane. Sometimes I even feel like they look at me as dangerous, simply because we have a different opinion on a matter. I’m being treated like a stranger, a crazy one at that by my family. I no longer share my actual thoughts with them. I no longer try to make them understand my side of the story, my point of view. I have tried to do that for almost two years. There were moments I have felt like they finally understand and respect my decisions, just to have that feeling, that hope almost, crushed a short time later. So, since there are only a handful of people in my real life who understand, who share those same opinions, same thoughts I’m hoping I might be able to help some people who know exactly what I’m talking about right now. People who feel the same way I do. People who have been ostracized by their families and people they love, by people they never thought would ever turn on them. Would estrange them because of a different opinion. 

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